Duran was my friend who passed away in September 2019. And man, do I miss him. It’s been said that there are just certain people who extol grace. And boy, did he ever.
I met him around five years ago simply because we had passed each other by a number of times at St. Michael’s Catholic Church in Grand Forks, ND and also had a number of mutual friends. He would sit in an accessible pew with his mother and aunt next to the elevator entrance. For most of the time I knew him, he was still wearing a religious habit of the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity, of which he was a part of.
What makes this fellow special and why I wanted to share his story on “Valley Saints” is that in virtually every interaction he had with me or others, he was bringing everybody closer to God. One of those people who just emanates grace. For example, every time we went to a movie – only a few blocks away from his house, he had us praying whole rosaries. Mind you, when I go to a movie, all I’m thinking about is having a good time, giant bag of popcorn, surround sound, the works! We got to pray now? That was Duran!
Update 4/14/2024:
I started writing this four years ago, in 2020. I cannot believe it’s been four years since I picked this up. I wish I could share so much more about him. I still think about him, pray to him and pray for him. I wish I could describe his death, which in my perception was quite holy. My friend Patrick and I visited him often in the hospital in his last few months. During this time he wrestled some despair with great difficulty – in that, he had completely lost control of his body. There was zero control in his bowel movements or otherwise. He just wanted to go. And how could one not? Here was a very young guy, and who was very well aware he had a death sentence, no control and wanted to go.
On the night he died, he had the most peaceful persona about him. Was hardly able to speak. But he was smiling throughout the whole time. For some reason, I asked him if I could have his autograph. He happily gave it to me, which I still have to this day. I made copies of his autograph digitally and his signature is also displayed at his grave. He drew the cross with Mary’s M over it as well. I left before he passed away, but came after to see his body. He was a stick figure, having been unable to eat for so long. But again, his body conveyed peace.
That day I had left for work right after, and it was the most dramatic pink and yellow sunrise as I was leaving. For some reason I saw a crow literally dancing and hopping up and down in the street. I don’t know why, but I didn’t feel sad in the slightest. Maybe I lacked empathy, but I loved him so that couldn’t be it. I went to work but in the evening, I spent time with good friends (the Mulligans) afterward. And we shared stories and talked about Duran.
In the most unusual timing, the area (Grand Forks, North Dakota) underwent a significant flash flood. It was about 11pm and I had to drive 10 miles to get back home. Unfortunately, it was pouring and I was driving my car through a flooded street (not the brightest decision by a long shot). My car stalled, and I decided to get out and push it into a parking lot to veer away from traffic. I managed to do so but immediately recognized the parking lot of which I entered was of Hope Church. I laughed and immediately felt comforted by the giant sign that read “HOPE.” I ended up walking about a mile until a friend picked me up at 1am and drove me back home.
I wanted to share this story because the entire day I could not help but be so encouraged and hyper-sensitive to the signs, Duran’s presence and soul. Maybe everything on this day of his death was a mere coincidence. But I find life so much more satisifying with meaning and purpose like this. Duran dies in the most peaceful way. The day begins with a dramatic, surreal sunset. A crow dances. No sadness in my heart, in the slightest. A flash flood. A stalling car under the giant letters, “HOPE.” A friend bailing me out under the pouring rain.
I’ll never forget the day. Duran had intense faith. His accident left him paralyzed, but it never impacted his humor, kindness or trust in God. He suffered so much in his final days and months. An unbelievable amount, that left him looking like a holocaust victim in the end. But I recall in our faith, we pray for a “happy and holy death.” That, my friend, was a happy and holy death. That one could bear the cross he did on that day… yet still smile, still be joyful, look at people with love? That’s divine, man. We as a world are so terrified of death. It’s a subject completely buried in our endless, continual distractions of entertainment. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It could be, as scripture describes it, as “simply going to sleep.” Because that what Duran did. With his faith, he went to sleep in the Lord.
After his death, friends, family and myself asked for signs and receive them from Duran. One could argue “confirmation bias” but my faith and the frequency and the number of people they happened to tell me otherwise. Duran’s mother had the last name, “Walking Eagle.” As such, eagles were immensely important to her and his family. So following his deat, many of us, myself included, prayed to witness eagles. It came about in unexpected yet hilarious ways for me. On Friday, September 27th of that year, I prayed, “Lord, send me a bald eagle as a sign Duran is in Heaven.” On Saturday, September 28th, I first saw a license plate that read “EAGLE1” Ok. But on that same day, Jane and I went to a harvest festival where I found my eagle:
Had to laugh when I saw that! Oh Duran, teased me a whole lot in our short friendship, has continued to do so from heaven!
There was another lady, Sharon Valdez, who was a friend of Duran who asked for his prayers. She wrote to me saying:
“My husband Andy, had a lump under his eye that was getting larger. On April 6th, he went to the emergency room. They did MRI and cat scan. The Doctor told us it was cancer. On April 7th, we went to the surgeon and he scheduled surgery for April 9th. He got a call from the surgeon today and told him the pathology report was back and he DOESN’T have cancer. He told Andy that he was sure he had cancer when he operated on him. What I wanted you to know is that I prayed to Brother Duran every night. I know it was him who healed Andy. We got to know Duran when he was in Capulin.”
I also know another friend out of Colorado who prayed for a bald eagle as a sign and immediately witnessed an eagle fly across her vision just as we were dropping dirt on Duran’s grave.
But anyway, I still miss him. I wish I spent more time with him and sometimes feel guilty for not having done so. I could have asked so much more spiritual advice from him. Could have brought him over to my place, where I have a hidden chapel and let’s just pray and talk about God all night.
But he’s with me, and you another way. Saint Paul in Hebrews 12:1 says, “therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Duran is a part of that great cloud of witnesses watching, cheering and helping me and us on our own pilgrimage through life. That is how I feel he is still with me.
I wish I could share his whole life’s timeline right here. But I only knew him for a few years. But alas, may his example and life encourage us to persevere in our own faith, no matter how limiting our own bodies will be, that we may not despair, have a happy and holy death, and ultimately be united with Jesus forever. Amen.
This was a graphic I made of Duran which includes his final autograph he given me before dying along with a quote from his favorite saint, Padre Pio. I have many prints of this! If you would like one, just send me and email at rudysfire45@gmail.com.
Obituary:
Duran grew up on the Spirit Lake Reservation and attended Four Winds High School until he moved to Grand Forks in 2004 where he obtained his GED at the Adult Learning Center in 2005. Following his education, Duran worked several jobs in the Grand Forks area until he heard God’s tugging on his heart in a call to religious life and entered the Vianney Discernment Program at Cardinal Muench Seminary in Fargo, ND from 2005 to 2006. Throughout his discernment, his path would lead him to the Most Holy Trinity religious order in La Jara, Colorado in 2008. He also was a part of the Young Disciples for two summers and lived in Belize for a year in 2007 where he taught religious classes and played soccer with his students.
In 2009, Duran was a passenger in a motor vehicle accident where he sustained permanent spinal cord and neck injury. Following this, Duran returned to Grand Forks in order to be closer to family. In spite of this Duran was humble about his injuries and never once complained about the obstacles he faced.
Duran enjoyed cinema, basketball (his favorite team was the Minnesota Timberwolves), UFC, and the Minnesota Vikings. Before his accident he was an avid runner and loved to run outside.
Duran was an incredibly kind and graceful man. He spent much of his life in prayer and service to others and loved his Mother very much. He brought everyone around him closer to God. His kind and graceful demeanor will be sorely missed by all who knew him.